he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
