cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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