Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
