she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
