Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
