He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
