his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
