I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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