Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
