It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
