Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
