Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
