my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let's get the cat blown out
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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