ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
