just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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