tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
