When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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