he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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