Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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