I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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