Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
