he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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