everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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