I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
