Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
