i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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