so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
