I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
