He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
