I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
