I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
