I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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