Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
