I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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