Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pants 0. Shit 1.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
