is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
