Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
