i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
