so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
