it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
