We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
