Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
