Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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