Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
