I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
