Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
