I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
