so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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