Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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