As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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