This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
